2021...

And just like that - what felt like the longest year ever - is over. 2021 is here and we are all on the precipice of a new adventure.

2020 being what it was, taught me to find joy in the darkest of times, showed me that sometimes isolation is necessary for growth, and that despite our best efforts; we all play the villain in someone’s story. Last, but certainly not least, it taught me that time truly does heal all.

I think I have grown more in the past year, than in all my years combined. I have taken the time to sit with my feelings, to cry into the dark and accept solitude. I have asked for forgiveness and forgiven others. I have accepted the fact that everyone is not going to like me, and that that is okay. I have learned how to lean into my emotions without relying on someone else to distract me from what must be processed. I have loved and I have lost, and despite it all - I have survived - thrived even.

I am looking forward to this new year. A year of hope and embracing what is. A year of alignment and transcendence. A year of walking my path and leaning into my purpose.

Happy New Year. .

This is real life...

As my time in Tulum winds down, I find myself doing a lot of reflecting around this experience. Talking to my mom the other day, I mentioned trying to clarify for myself how everything that I’ve learned through this trip will now translate into “real life”. After a quiet pause she responded with; “but this is real life”, and it was like lightening striking - oh course it is…I looked around, and the thought came to me that this - this moment - is my life.

We have to get out of the thought process that we are living for the weekend, or working toward a vacation. We have to get used to lIving every single day to the absolute fullest. For every day is a new opportunity for us to evolve, to move forward along the path and purpose for which we are destined. It is literally our responsibility to take every chance we get to laugh, grow, connect, engage, inspire, be inspired and love.

It is all life, and we only get one - LIVE IT.

This is just the beginning...

I am knee deep in an experiment in which I am getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. It seems like this has been a life long theme for me - constantly being forced out of my comfort zone by the “Powers that Be”. The difference this time, is that I’ve made the choice on my own to make the jump. The reasons vary - the timing was right and the circumstances aligned; but most of all, I wanted to see if I could do it.

I have always wanted to be a global citizen. I love to travel - and I do - as often as possible; but my DREAM has always been to immerse myself in different cultures, to spend time living among the locals in various parts of the world. Until now, I’ve never had the opportunity (or the nerve); but in September, I took the leap…the whole, “If not me, who? If not now, when?” train of thought took hold, and I booked a month-long stay in Tulum, Mexico.

I arrived on October 4th, and I must say, it’s already been an adventure (can you say hurricanes…), but it’s also been a testament to how the Universe supports us when we make a decision. Being the logical thinker that I am, I’m always looking for the “proof in the pudding”, and the amazing thing is, because it’s what I need, that’s what I’ve received. The Universe has given me sign after sign that I’m on the right track.

Although this trip has just started, I’m realizing my own strength; my ability to be resilient and flexible. I’m learning that I can depend on myself, and that I’m whole just as I am.

It’s inspiring and mind blowing, and a little scary if I’m being totally honest. We create our stories, and expect that to be our story; but the old adage is true - we hold the pen, and we can change the ending at any time.

I had an extremely interesting conversation this week. Someone I have never met, but immediately felt an affinity with, told me that I needed to step out of the box that I have created for myself over the course of my life.

She said that I have become so accustomed to the process of life, and the stability of structure that I have come away from trusting myself - and she was right. I’ve been living logically, not chasing after the things that make my soul sing. I’ve been walking through life checking off a “checklist” of accomplishments on some vague mission of success - not really knowing what that word actually means or looks like for me. I’ve fallen into this societal perception of what responsible adults should strive for; not having the courage or faith to step out and go fearlessly after what I want,and that has taken a toll.

I’ve been running a race that I no longer want to run.

Going after what one truly wants in life can be scary for various reasons, the greatest one not necessarily being what you want is out of reach. Taking that step can be scary because sometimes we feel like we are undeserving; not worthy enough to even consider that the Universe would make a way to our deepest desires. The trick we play on ourselves about that is this…WE ARE ALREADY ENOUGH. We don’t have to go through gyrations, or make deals with God, because grace is there for all of us. Literally, all we have to do is believe it and walk in it.

Such a simple concept, and yet, it can be so challenging; but I’m working on it.

Paulo Coelho tells us in The Alchemist , “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Someone once told me that my job is to figure out the “what” and the Universe would figure out the “how.” I heard it again during my conversation on Monday. It was a confirmation that now is the time.

I am worthy. I am able. I am supported…and so are you.

It's been awhile...

It’s been a long while since I’ve worked on my blog or even my site. Not that I haven’t had anything to say, but I guess I’ve been deep in my own head - not quite having the words nor wherewithal to articulate what has been going on in my mind.

My birthday is April 20th, which puts me solidly on the cusp between Aries and Taurus. The Taurus in me does not do well with change. I am very methodical and logical, and extremely stubborn and strong-willed, so when I am forced into a transition that I did not initiate, I tend to get aggravated - even angry at the universe sometimes - even when I know said change is for my own good. The Aries in me tends to balance things out - as methodical, logical and stubborn as I can be; I am also full of fire - creative and passionate, wild in my own right. I want to literally absorb and experience as much as I can while I am here - which often leads me to the MANY things that I want to do, start, write, etc…you get my drift.

I haven’t finished something I’ve started (outside of my professional life) in a long time. I have so many open projects going on right now, that I’m not even sure where I should begin, BUT, I got a little extra time today, and decided that the way to finish anything is to take it a day at a time, a minute at a time, a second at a time.

Now is as good a time as ever to get back on the horse and actually take some time to get back into the things that I love. The things that make our souls sing are related to our gifts, the things that we HAVE to share with the world. I’ve been so scattered lately, that it’s been challenging to even remember and recognize those things in myself, but this morning I decided that today would be the day that I get up and try again - because you only fail when you stop trying. Right?

It's Time...

2017 has started off with a bang...to say there has been A LOT of upheaval in my life lately would be an understatement. It seems transition and change have become a way of life as of late. As a result, I've had to practice embracing becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable.

It's a daily struggle; one that sends me to my yoga mat every morning, seeking refuge in asana and breath...a quiet reminder to put worries aside, for it does one no good to look to the past or overthink the future, as life is happening in this moment.

As I move forward into this year I've decided to strive to quiet my mind. Try not to focus so much on the coulda, woulda, shouldas; but to begin taking joy in the moments - early mornings; the moonlight as it washes everything in it's bright light, a hot cup of coffee on a cold day; catching up with a friend over a late lunch, or my dog's excitement and doggie smile when he meets a fellow pup on the trail. 

Appreciating each moment as it comes, for that is where life is lived...

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."  ~ Buddha